Gifts I DON’T Want


*Return To Sender*
Do you know what I don’t want for Christmas? This neck warmer.

Available at Banana Republic.

First off, for $59.00 $35.40 (sale price), I’d expect to get a whole sweater, not just the neckband. Could they at least throw in the wristbands while they’re at it?

Available nowhere. This is a figment of my imagination.

I also do not want a marshmallow blaster, unless you are going to blast those puppies right into my mouth. It’s the thought of marshmallows going to waste that bothers me.


Pump-Action 50-Foot Marshmallow Blaster ($39.95) available at Hammacher Schlemmer.

Another item I’ll pass on is vibrating mascara.

Available at Sephora ($34).

A vibrator? Sure! Mascara? You bet! But not together!


What is on your *Return To Sender* list?

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Filed under Humor, Shopping

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