Ten Truths

 Ten Truths

 1) My middle name is Monica. During the summer between 8th and 9th grade, my Mom asked if I’d like to go by my middle name. She thought if I was called Monica all summer, I’d be used to it by the time the school year started. We’d barely gotten out of the gate of trying my *new* name when I did something to anger her, and the idea was scrapped.

2) I’m currently working on copying my parents’ photo albums. My goal is to create family albums for myself, my brother and my sister. I’ve even gone so far as to trace a childhood vacation route on mapquest, and identify a bridge my parents stood in front of.

 

3) I’m going out on a limb here, but I think my Schwann’s delivery man/boy wishes I was a cougar. He arrives late at night, makes idle chit-chat, and undresses me with his eyes. (I made that last part up.)

 
4) I (foolishly) purchased vibrating mascara in December, and now, just 5 short weeks later, the battery is dead.
 
5) The best recipe I’ve tried this year, with the mindset of eating healthier, is a veggie quesadilla. The worst, polenta.

6) I have a black hole in my kitchen which sucks all tupperware lids into the next dimension.

7) My 2nd marriage was performed by a minister who worked nights as a topless mermaid in a fishbowl. I just googled San Francisco topless mermaid fishbowl, and found the S.F. club: Bimbo’s 365.

8) I’m a google-queen, googling several times a day for myself and my husband.

9) The last thing I bought online was an external cd drive from MacMall.

10) Right now I’m on hold with MacMall, listening to jazz, and being told repeatedly that my call is very important. I’ve been holding for 7 minutes (so far). I don’t feel that my call is very important.

UPDATE #1: I am STILL very important…. 21 minutes later. I’ve spoken to 2 actual people, but I’m not done yet.

UPDATE #2:  That entire call last 32 minutes and 56 seconds. Turns out, that external CD drive was falsely advertised as being compatible with all platforms. It is for PCs only. Can I get my 33 minutes back?

Thanks for reading!

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