Go Get ‘Em, Tiger!

Tiger Woods has lost lucrative sponsorship and advertising deals, but he could still come out the winner.

Tiger, you have the opportunity to reach more consumers than ever before. Here are my recommendations for your financial future.

1. Cut a deal with Summer’s Eve. Demand they create a “Smells Like Money!” scent.

2. Accept an offer from Dirt Devil. The sale of dirt bags could triple.

3. Contact The Las Vegas Tourism Board. Your face plus their trademarked phrase equals a match made in heaven.

4. Remake the Austin Powers hit, GoldMember.

5. Pen a Dummies book.

So, what do you say, Mr. Woods? Are you ready to come out of hiding and get back to work?

β€’ Do you think Tiger is listening?
β€’ Love him, hate him, or leave him alone?
β€’ What other products could he endorse?



Filed under Humor

33 responses to “Go Get ‘Em, Tiger!

  1. Sherri


    This is too good Jeanie Beanie πŸ™‚

    I don’t have any other recommendations for sponsors but I do have a little joke for you.

    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.
    All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

    Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.”

    Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”

    Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

    Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

    Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

    Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”

    Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”

    Johnny is even madder than before.

    Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

    Teacher: “That’s right Nancy, you may also leave.”

    Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions.

    When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!”

    The teacher turns around: “WHO SAID THAT?”

    Johnny: “TIGER WOODS. See you next year!”

  2. Hahahahahaha! Thank YOU for the laughs, Sherri!

  3. Right on Jean. I can’t get enough of trashy Tiger talk. Thanks for posting this and making me LOL!

  4. You seem suprised, He is a bloke, He has Money, He has no kids, He has scantaly dressed chics throwing himsef at him, He says his wife does not under stand hin, He is a bloke!

  5. S. Le

    Brilliant and hilarious post!

    Tiger? I really couldn’t care less.

  6. I heard a couple of Tiger Woods jokes the other night.

    1) He’s changing his name to Cheetah Woods
    2) What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa only has three “Ho”s.

  7. You so bad, gurl! lolololol. I think Tiger thought he had it going on and then like everyone else who “fronts” it all comes crashing down sooner or later. i think ALL of his ads should be pulled. I told my husband, he’s going to be another magic johnson and come up with Aids if he doesn’t watch it.

  8. You are too funny! Love all the graphics!

  9. Era

    Ha Ha Ha!!! This post is hilarious. When he was hiding from the police and not letting on what the issue was, I was curious. Now I’ve heard enough and am bored of him. Professionally he’ll be fine if he starts winning tournaments again. Now he should be left to put together the shambles of his personal life.

  10. Aren’t you the clever one! LOL πŸ™‚
    Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
    A: Because he had low elf esteem.

    Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
    A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

  11. Tiger is a DUMBASS! Why would someone that has it all do something this friggin stupid?

    I wonder what Tiger will do next? I mean after the divorce and all. A bricklayer perhaps? What a dumbass! LOL

  12. Tiger SHOULD do a Summer’s Eve commercial! He knows all about being a douchebag! πŸ˜€

  13. Hope it is ok I added you to my blogroll. Sorry so late! Hope you like the image I picked for you, if not…let ,e know! πŸ™‚

  14. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!
    Thanks for adding me to your blogroll!
    I appreciate your support and your take on life!


  16. OMG Jean. This was hilarious!!!

  17. And your placement of the products, etc. Hahahaha…. PERFECT!!!

  18. Ok.. the Summer’s Eve comment?
    Yea.. coffee came spraying out of my nose and onto my laptop monitor!


    off to find paper towels!!!

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