The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly


I want to poop through my feet. Yes, seriously, I do. Not the mamby-pamby pads you stick to the soles of your feet, but a big, hearty, detoxifying dump in a foot bath. You’ll have to wait for the Ugly to see the pictures!
 
THE GOOD
 
1. Being told by hubby, “Sure I’ll watch Pearl!”, so I could sneak away for a pedicure and detoxifying foot bath.
2. Having a gift certificate for treatment at a local salon.
3. Having a salon customer cancel, and I fill their spot immediately!
4. Looking cute in my new Isaac Mizrahi plaid Target dress on sale for $17.99.
 
THE BAD
 
1. Being told I can’t have the ionic foot bath because I’m pregnant. (I’m NOT pregnant!)
2. Crotchety Mildred taking an hour per foot on my pedicure, and running out of time before applying paint!
3. Not being given a towel for my lap, thus giving the salon an upskirt show.
4. Not having a private room to foot-poop in privacy.
 
THE UGLY
 
1. What came out of my feet.

I think, technically, I only peed through my feet.
 
2. What has come out of other people’s feet!

These are some hearty foot dumps!
 
β€’ Have you pooped through your feet?
β€’ Would you poop through your feet?

 
Originally published 09/27/08 on MySpace.

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46 Comments

Filed under Humor

46 responses to “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

  1. I remember this post from MySpace! I SO wanted a foot dump back then, and seeing this post today just reignites that fire. LOL! πŸ™‚

  2. JEAN, I HAVE A CHALLENGE ON MY BLOG FOR YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS…. COME CHECK IT OUT…”FALL PARADE”

  3. Wow…pooping through my feet. Can’t say I’ve ever done that. Never had a pedicure or any kind of foot bath in my life. Interesting, and kinda gross, and yet fascinating!

  4. Personally, i think i’ll give it a miss. lol

  5. Deb

    Wow, I get a pedicure about every 3 weeks….my feet have never pooped, nor even peed as far as I know. I’m not sure I want to go to the same spa you do; is this real….what kind of chemicals do they use to get this kind of result? The only thing I’ve ever wanted to do is learn to speak Vietnamese, so I can understand the spa gals conversations, lol!!

    • LOL, Deb! Your feet might be peeing!
      I never returned to this spa, and can’t recall what additives they put in the water. I’ve heard this could be a hoax.
      Boy what I wouldn’t give to understand what they are saying. πŸ™‚

  6. are you sure you mean poop? not puke? whatever the eff, ewwwww.

    I freakin love your picture in the header. Makes me want to motorboat something.

    Thanks for stopping by. That ‘thing’ [bird, frog, cicada] is still driving me abso nuts.

  7. Sunny Wishes She Were Shopping

    You do the funnest stuff! I still wanna try this one of these days πŸ™‚

  8. Ok..

    You HAVE to explain this too me because either I’ve had too much coffee ( well, that’s a given ) .. or it’s WAY too early in the morning ( nah.. 2:30am is normal).. or I am SO WAY OUT OF TOUCH with anything having to do with being a women except when it has to do with hair dye and shoes… and well, other things but THIS is not one of them!!

    What the HELL, Jean!!!!

    • Leese, it’s not really a girly/pampering type of treatment, but a type of detox. Here is a definition I googled because the science of it is over my head.

      “The ionic detox foot bath consists of a tub where you can place your feet in water as well as a part that uses osmosis or electrolysis to break some of the water into positive and negative ions.

      The ionizer array is placed in the water with added sea salt and this produces a mild electric current. Metals within the array in combination with water and added sea salt generate positively and negatively charged ions.

      The negative ions are then absorbed into your skin and travel through your body attracting positively charged toxic ions (toxins are supposedly positively charged) to them and encouraging natural detoxification of the body by osmosis. The toxins are neutralized because they are attracted by the highly-concentrated ion field in the ionic detox foot bath water. These toxins are then released back into the foot bath water via the thousands of pores that you have under your feet.”

  9. Those photos are so gross, gag, gag, gag…
    The bad #1 is so ultra bad it’s a wonder you didn’t right hook her

    • Tony, your comment was being held hostage!
      Yes, I should have hooked her and saved myself the displeasure of spending one extra moment or one red cent in her establishment. At least I left her a dirty foot bath to tend to. πŸ™‚

  10. I’m with leese. I’ve never seen anything like this before. What is UP with that??!!!

    I loved this post, BTW!

  11. The pictures are amazing I had no idea so much poop could come out from a persons feet! Frankly I’m shocked. Smelling salts please.

  12. Lynn

    okay, what the hell are you talking about here? i’ve had many many pedicures and never once has my foot water looked like this! starla, crap can’t out your feet, these people are not of this world! (no offense)

  13. Holy detox! I have seen those before and they never cease to amaze me. Ewwww is all I have to say. Do you feel a difference now that you’ve done it? I’ve always wanted to try one of those.

  14. I can honestly say that I have never done this and I will never even try it. lol πŸ™‚ You have a lot more courage than me. lol πŸ™‚ I hope that you have fun “pooping” away this summer. lol πŸ™‚

  15. Wow, I never thought those foot detoxifying thingys worked! Again, you stun me with your unending knowledge of things one would never normally think about.

    I’m going to try that foot detox thing, but some of those pics looked like those people actually pooped in thier foot tubs! Wholly schmooly

    • Hi Sherri!
      I’m not sure if the foot detox does work. There are some videos on youtube showing how this effect can be achieved without anyone’s feet in the water.
      I’m not sure if those disposable foot pads are different, i.e. more reliable.
      Yeah, some of the results were nasty!

      • Sherri

        yeah, after I read your blog I did a little research myself on the subject. I didn’t wanna ruin your foot poop for ya, but as always you are one step ahead… πŸ™‚

  16. The pics, are quite disturbing… i enjoyed the science lesson above…. i reckon that if that comes out of the feet, what would come outta the rest of us ! and would you feel better from it??
    5 years ago in Vegas they had those Oxygen bars, with different flavours, is that still popular? Does that work for detox ?
    All the best Gareth

  17. I have never had a pedi, and have only had two mani’s my entire life.

    I don’t think I’ll be pooping through my feet. I did some research on this and it appears to be a quack. Something about impurities can’t come out of your feet, that is what your liver and kidneys do. Maybe pooping through your feet is for those who don’t like to detox the old fashioned way. LOL

    Either way, I’m sure it was relaxing as long as you didn’t look down at the foot bath. Yuck!

    • Hi Tammy – It does appear to be quackery, huh? When I was googling to find the science behind it, I saw a lot of sites saying it is a scam. That’s too bad because it wasn’t cheap. I wonder if the salon is still offering it. I never returned.
      Yes, it was great to get out of the house for a bit anyway. LOL!

  18. Wow, I need to make a pedicure appointment for my foot dump! Kind of reminds me of that episode of South Park where Stan’s dad beats the world record for the biggest dump ever. He’d be so proud… πŸ™‚

  19. Ewww, no. I think I just lost my lunch a little.

    Gee I’ve heard of taking a load off your feet…but DAAAANGGGG!!:-D

  20. Joy

    All I can really muster up is EEEEWWWW….I think I’ll have to skip pooping through my feet.

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