Tag Archives: candy

I Fake It ~ Do You?

I’m boycotting Nerds. You shouldn’t need a shopvac to clean up a candy spill.

Make sure you specify Nerd Candy when you google. Otherwise your retnas will be burned by this:

Speaking of candy, our neighbor kicked his *substance-abusing* girlfriend out again. He gave us her huge bag of assorted Dove chocolates plus an industrial-size box of chocolate liquors. Is it wrong to eat a banished crack-whore’s chocolates?

One of my exes used to make goulash. I’m thankful that I will never eat it again. You know those meals that you fake/enjoy? Maybe I’m the only one. I can’t think of a meal Tom cooks that I fake/enjoy, but I’m starting to think he fake/enjoys my cheesy hashbrowns. I saw his full serving (plus the leftovers) in the trash. He’s the one that suggested I melt cheese on top. Cheese helps everything…. except for my hashbrowns apparently.   

I’ve been thinking of my next videoblog. Not a tutorial, but my impersonations of Spongebob, Patrick and Squidward. I might even throw in Sandy the Squirrel. What if my impersonations are way off? Will you tell me if I suck, or will you fake/enjoy it?   

How are you spending this fine Father’s Day weekend?

Thanks for reading!



Filed under Humor